@recoveringgeek@Taelios
@Hawking@Cyone<
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-From the allied hives of the independent Verpine peoples of the Roche Asteroids-This galactic interjection is not intended to foment violence or describe a policy of isolationism or rejection of outsiders; trade and cultural exchange is a positivity and a value amongst all of our Colonies, to be praised, and will never be abandoned even when the asteroids are emptied and the husks of the Queens Forgone fade to nothing but gross and crumbly dust,
let it be forbidden.
Nonetheless, our good intentions and many hugging arms have been taken advantage of, and we demand redress and respect for our losses. A recent group of visitors to the Foreign Shareatorium aboard the sovereign Verpine <
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lifehole of Slayn caused what we understand to be known to citizens of the wider galaxy as as '
ruckaballoo', and this tragic happenstance has caused damage to our properties and threatened to sour the milk that flows through the teats of goodwill between the Verpine colonies and its many peaceful allies.
Case the first: ship transponder identified '
Perished Bird Vision', shipmaster: Captain
Gaius Octavius Nephrite
This Gozanti cruiser violated the Ultrahug Preserve at coordinates
167-morf-541-croit-Aurek/Cherek, disrupting the territories of various cosmozoans and leading a class-
Enth Ultrahug on a dangerous <TRANSLATOR ERROR>
bronco-bust through civilized territory. Many ships and facilities were hugged most eagerly and unwelcomely. The Gozanti cruiser then engaged in an inexplicable and suicidal traversal of our patented
Gravity Shear Sublimator, throwing off delicate machinery and clogging our pet nebula with hull materials and sublight engine exhaust. This is all bad.
Case the second: ship transponder identified '
Independent Woman', shipmaster: Captain
Pink Arthack
This <TRANSLATOR ERROR>
coracle violated NUMEROUS sovereign zones, refusing to submit to a customs droid boarding action, recklessly piloting through a tractor-tug fleet (causing hundreds of credits of damage in the process), and assaulting the visiting Ithorian Herdship '
Port <TRANSLATION ERROR>
Granola' with unauthorized flightspace invasions and a reported weapons activation, which is a capital crime among the Ithorians punishable by fifteen weeks of meditation circle attendance and a bout of '
deep rake therapy'.
<
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Both Captains then engaged in a brutal fistfight aboard Slayn Colony that escalated into a vortex of chaos wherein no fewer than three other visitors discharged weapons, destroying half a dozen Slayn hive droids and interrupting an attempted drone insemination, spoiling the seed and rendering the entire experience kind of gross for everyone involved.
Suspect: Jedi Warrior
Lotsofmesons Tayleost
Suspect:
Jayne Perdaron, alias '
Jedi Bushi Milter Erlim'

Suspect: Unidentified
Mandalorian hooligan

Captains
Nephrite and
Arthack are hereby
banned from the Roche Asteroids, until such time as they pay a fee of
20,000 credits each and agree to undertake
mento-inculcation on proper behavior amongst the Verpine clans, as well as
two spins each on the Punishment Jubilee to determine community service duties.
The Jedi
Tayleost is hereby
banned from the Roche Asteroids, until such time as he or the
Sacred Order of the Jedi Killers pay a fee of
300,000 credits and agrees to undertake
sensitivity training amongst the Queen's Royal Egg-Tenders with a success rate of 95% (a
llowances for the deliciousness of sterile eggs, of course, calculated freely).
The false Jedi '
Milter Erlim' is hereby
banned from the Roche Asteroids, until such time as
she molts and proves herself to be a mature adult worthy of laying a powerful clutch.
All
Mandalorians are hereby
banned from the Roche Asteroids for a span no shorter than
two standard weeks, and shattergun sales are to be canceled until such time as Slayn Colony r
eceives an apology, preferably in the form of one of those helmets (but with holes for antennae, please).
Like this, please -Peace be with you, may your inventions be fruitful and your clutches bear only partially anxious young-<
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