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Outside Realm / Re: recoveringgeek's All-Purpose Star Wars thread
« Last post by recoveringgeek on 01/21/20, 11:48:28 PM »
I e-mailed this to an old friend today. When Captain Jaade first came into existence during a tabletop role-playing game, it was twenty+ years ago, and this friend was there playing alongside me;

From Discover on Google

Date: August 25, 2020 - September 2, 2020
Sector: Trilon
System: Batuu
Settlement: Black Spire Outpost

Holo-recording damaged. Analog text only. Playback incoming:

Is this thing on? Damn GONK droid. I'm going to leave you as mynock bait.

Been a long time fur face. Heard you've been hopping from one System to another all these years, chasing thrills, and credits.

Yeah, I still keep tabs on my old crew. Besides, I still got air scrubbers that stink of wet fur. That smell ain't ever coming out.

I would have left you chasing little tails around your homestead in that cesspool of a starport you settled in by the sea.

Problem is, I got a new run. See, I scored big this past season, made my employer damn happy. He even sent me on a luxury star cruiser to orbit some backwater systems. He also paid out a handsome bonus.

Now, a sensible Tramp Freighter Captain might've used that good fortune to pay off some debts, put a down payment on retirement even. I think you and I both know I ain't that sort of Captain.

So I stocked up on fuel, consumables, and even found some passengers coming along for the ride. Then I fired up the navicomputer and plotted a course for Batuu.

Yeah, yeah. That's the Outer Rim Territories you say. That's First Order marching grounds you say. That's Resistance underground you say.

That's prime opportunity to make planetfall, score some kyber crystals, and smuggle them right out from under both their noses I say.

I can see those furry ears of yours twitching from here. I got my ship, I got passengers as a cover. I need a crew.

Damnit Randan, I need you.

I need a hot shot saddle jockey whose fast on his feet and with his holster. I need a furry face to blend in with the locals, while I smile and distract the facist xenophobes.

I've already plotted my course. It's booked and locked in. I'm including with this transmission some sliced data on how to intercept local transmissions, and even slice the local droids and blast doors.

So one of two things will happen. I'll be there, you'll be elsewhere and I'll fumble my way through it. Or, I'll be there, and you'll walk through the doors of Oga's Cantina and you'll buy me a drink. I'm not paying, you see how much fuel prices are rising!?

I got a lead. There's an Ithorian by the name of Dok-Ondar. He runs an antiquities shop in Black Spire Outpost. If anyone knows where to score some kyber crystals, it'll be that mumbling giant.

That's it, that's my pitch. This GONK is about to overheat. This is Augustus Jaade. Captain of the Gozanti Cruiser, the Jaded Dream.

End transmission.

I said end transmission you rusted tool box-

Transmission terminated.
Outside Realm / Re: Video Game OST Appreciation Thread
« Last post by SquigglyV on 01/20/20, 07:16:53 PM »
I don't usually like EDM-style stuff but Crypt of the Necrodancer does it really well, even better than Terraria imo. The song titles are all fun and the musical style reminded me of what was once my favourite Hot Wheels car too. I guess that shouldn't be surprising for a rhythm game tho, doot doot!

Stone Cold:
Dance of the Decorous:
Konga Conga Kappa:
Deep Sea Bass:

Also there's a metal version of the soundtrack. Squiggle like!

Infernal Descent:
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by blingdenston on 12/27/19, 05:14:04 PM »
Like I said, I'd give it a C- but I can absolutely positively not get past the utter defensive cowardice of this movie. They dropped a gauntlet in TLJ: the Force is not the domain of the blood-superior; the Jedi aren't defined by their manifold failures but by the courage and mercy of their Rebel descendants; the rise of fascism is rooted in shallow, meaningless violence and self-glorification. And this movie sniffs around the gauntlet, makes a 'pee-yew!' face, and then replies: nah, the Force is the domain of dynasties and bloodlines (MAYBE you can have a LITTLE Force to stop being a Stormtrooper, all those OTHER indentured child soldiers were Just Evil lol...but not Ben Solo, he gets to come back 'cause he's a Solo-Skywalker, y'know); the TRUE power of the Jedi is in inheriting the legacy of fuckin' cartoon characters and Mace Windu and PREQUEL Kenobi, who simply shall not be held responsible for the Republic's failures; and evil comes from an old wizard who can never truly be defeated and the sacrifices of the Rebels were pointless 'cause he just starts a better Empire with a THOUSAND Death Stars, hee hee!

Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by Hawking on 12/27/19, 03:01:45 AM »
So I saw the movie again. And honestly, yeah...I'm not as conflicted as i was before. Actually I found myself enjoying the film more than I did the first time. Hell, r/starwarscantina's been helping me view the movie in a new light as well.

Some interesting threads that perhaps you people may or may not enjoy, honestly, just go to r/starwarscantina in general:

Funnily enough I also ended up seeing it again today with my family, and also enjoyed it more the second time around. Had to turn my brain off a bit, but, the emotional beats worked a little better this time. Knowing what was coming made it a little less jarring when the particularly whack shit popped up. The main thing I got out of it was wishing that Abrams had been given 7, 8, and 9, just so the trilogy maintained some consistency.

Still wouldn't say it's my favourite movie in the world, and the script is still silly,'s...fine, I guess? They could have been braver with this trilogy, could have contributed something genuinely interesting to the franchise and challenged the audience, but, hey. Maybe this was always how it was gonna be.

Definitely going to check those threads out, though, thanks for sharing!

Edit: gonna sleep on it, more thoughts to come on this movie and the sequel trilogy more broadly
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by GabrielThorne on 12/27/19, 02:40:04 AM »
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by Joshmaul on 12/26/19, 05:44:27 PM »
I read the Wikipedia plot synopsis. My first reaction was: "What basement-dwelling fanboy wrote this shit?"

My stepfather wants to go see it in the theater this weekend. He's welcome to it. I'll wait until it's on Disney+ - the admission price will be cheaper, the snacks will be better, and there won't be any fucking kids.

(And hi, guys. Not dead yet. :D )
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by Hawking on 12/26/19, 04:50:34 PM »
Try as I might, I just can't divorce these actual movies from the stories of their production. It was a bizarre exercise watching TROS, I found myself almost entirely unable to pay attention as to what was happening on screen because
I was too busy picking out why the thing I was seeing had been put in the movie. Luke's diatribe on Ahch-To? Placating TLJ haters. Rose being totally sidelined? Placating TLJ haters. Palpatine returning? Direct result of the trilogy not being planned and the three-movie arc lacking an antagonist. Lando's "they always come" line? Again, direct shot at TLJ's themes, returning to the Star Wars status-quo. Chewie getting a medal? Fan service. Carrie Fisher's b-roll being incorporated into the film with CGI? Couldn't just write her out, probably for commercial reasons. Immersion was impossible, the whole thing felt so artificial, as though it was made in a lab by robots. TFA, TLJ and particularly TROS were clearly unplanned as a trilogy, rather being individually crafted responses to the environment in which they are released.

I don't blame Rian Johnson for that. I don't even really blame JJ Abrams. I 'blame' (and, frankly, even that word feels too strong. This hasn't RuInEd My ChIlDhOoD. All this trilogy has accomplished is diminishing my enjoyment of the Star Wars brand substantially, I just find it hard to care anymore!) Disney and their committees for playing it so damn safe. But that's to be expected. Like Bling (and Martin Scorsese!) said, this is how the film industry is trending now - big budget, vapid movies that are devoid of any soul, tailor made to meet specific audience expectations. In this case, Star Wars(tm) is now an established thing that I expect to see change very little going forward. Episode IX is how Disney ultimately views the brand now - it's a simple story of good guys, bad guys, action set pieces, CGI aliens, lightsabers and nostalgia that you can package and sell as toys, snapchat filters and theme park rides in Orlando. IX was never going to be deeper than that.

I've never been the biggest fan of the Marvel movies for much the same reason, with the exception of a few of them, they all feel like substantially the same movie to me. That's where this trilogy has taken Star Wars. The series has always been heavily commercialised, but the movies, even as the marquee products, exist to serve the brand now, rather than the other way around.

As for the movie itself: I dunno. It was a thing. I enjoyed some of the action set pieces I guess? I walked out and I'd already forgotten half the movie, and I have no desire to see it again. We got two good Star Wars stories this year, and neither of them were IX.
Cantina / Re: Jedi: Fallen Order
« Last post by Toasty McGrath on 12/26/19, 10:57:30 AM »
My one criticism of Fallen Order is that thematically it really wasn't Jedi-centered, which is really what all of us wanted. Instead, we follow the trail of the ancient Zeffo civilization, which just seemed unnecessary. We wanted to delve deep into the history of the Jedi, not some new alien species.
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by recoveringgeek on 12/23/19, 02:10:44 PM »
They made a movie.

I saw a movie today.

It was a movie.

What was the movie about? I really couldn't tell you.

If they had made a movie about Rey turning to the Dark Side, and Ben Solo pulling her back, that would have been a great second movie leading into a third movie. That also would have made my one genuine shocked and happy/sad moment feel real, when Rey brought down the prisoner transport with Force Lightning.

That's a terrible send off of Chewbacca, but far better than what R.A. Salvatore ever did for the same character. So, for a moment, they made me forget there wasn't actually a story. So kudos, they made me believe again for one scene.

One scene.

Then I resumed watching a movie.
Outside Realm / Re: The Rise of SPOILERSwalker [discussion thread]
« Last post by blingdenston on 12/23/19, 12:33:12 PM »
Yeah, I feel you there, Gabe. The memes and jokes going around reading 'Written and Directed by REDDIT' do have a certain sting of truth to them. That said, as shitty as the shitty fans can be (and they are pathetically shitty), they don't literally make the movie...the folks at Disney, LucasFilm, and J.J. Abrams did that and I'm unable to blunt my dislike by targeting weiners on YouTube. They greenlighted TLJ, they reshot and redid Rogue One after it became clear that having the crew survive just wrecked the movie...they should have known better.

They definitely should've done better. I keep thinking back to ROTJ, TFA, TLJ...individual moments and shots from those movies just LEAP to mind: the speeder chase through the redwood forest, Rey sledding down the dunes on Jakku, the massive explosions of blood red whenever a blaster hits the surface of Crait. What's this movie got that grabs? I WOULD say the storm-wracked duel on the Death Star remnant on not-Endor (don't worry, dudes, no Ewoks here...we'll put some in just to keep the brand alive, but you won't have to suffer those STUPID Ewoks in OUR movie, hur hur)...but the BIZARRE Carrie Fisher doubling and the backwash of the big Rey reveal just sorta robbed the movie of all meaning for me, so all I see is two characters I don't care about anymore fighting over going to see a character I can't possibly care about any more.


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